Freedom.

What's up homies. My parents are going overseas for about a month. They're leaving tomorrow. I've been so psyched about this but now, I feel normal. No excitement or whatsoever. Been extremely tired for the past few days. Having trouble trying to stay awake in class. Lack of sleep plus hours of gyming. I can feel my body breaking down. Guess I have to rest more if not I'll just be causing more harm than good to my body. That's the last thing I would want to do. You know, it's so strange. You try to become someone you aren't just for the sake of accomplishing something. Even if it's for the wrong reasons. Sometimes you just want something so badly you would go all out to get it. Even if you're screwing yourself up. Most of the time you don't even realize that what you're doing is actually not the right thing to do. I'm the opposite of what I thought I would be. I've been lying my way through life. That's some fucked up shit eh? It's like there's a moving picture in my head that's been playing for months now. If I could, I would retrace every wrong move that I made, taking back all the pain. Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back. But that shit ain't easy. It's much easier to run than to face all the pain. Only losers and people who don't believe in themselves run. The one's who have faith will face it regardless of the pain involved. I can't feel the way I did before. Ahhh screw it.. I'm gonna go watch Lord Of The Rings now. Bored as hell. LOTR marathon till morning WOOOO! Don't intend to go to school today.. Damn shagg.


Just washing it aside.
All of the helplessness inside.
Pretending I don't feel misplaced.
It's so much simpler than change.